Jul 10, 2012

The School of Hard Knocks

July 10--What is the hardest challenge you have been faced with?

After reading some of the other blog posts on this topic, I am humbled by what people are willing to share. There are definitely awful challenges that I have faced that I am reluctant to put out here for people to read. I don't want to be judged for what I've done or what I've gone through. What it boils down to is that I grew up in the school of hard knocks. But I met each challenge, though sometimes reluctantly, and moved on.

Getting through some poor health issues was going to be the one challenge that tried me the most, but in retrospect, perhaps my father being killed in a plane crash when I was pregnant with my son was much more acutely painful. This issue with the fibromyalgia and nerve damage has had a longer impact on my life and continues to try me daily.

There've been challenges from childhood---parent's divorce/remarriage/re-divorce; developing migraines at age 11 (that were untreated), putting up with my father's temper which could turn violent on a whim.
From Headache and Migraine News, a child's drawing of a migraine.

Towards adulthood, I found myself a victim of "date rape"; I married someone that my father disapproved of and consequently was persona non grata. Said husband later left me for a younger, prettier version. On a positive note, I did finally start getting treatment for my migraines and met the man of my dreams.

Moving from Florida to New Mexico proved to be a huge challenge because of a variety of things, such as my husband losing his job after three months so I went back to work. Having to put my children (3 and 5) in daycare broke my heart. Oh, did I cry. My mother-in-law was living with us and she went off the deep end. That is a story for telling at night over a campfire.

Like I said, the fibromyalgia/spinal stenosis has been going on for a long time, and it isn't going away. The challenge therefore becomes "How am I going to learn to live with this?" It is a daily chore to go to bed at night not knowing how I will feel the next day. The migraines will do that to me too.
For more information on fibromyalgia, I refer you to the Fibromyalgia Network
But I've had some glorious blessings along the way. This includes my husband who loves me unconditionally, two, fabulous, young adult children. Over the years, my mother and I reconnected which has been healing to both of us. I admit I left out some things that are too personal, but they are threads in the fabric of my life nonetheless.

What I have learned is that God is with me in the hard places. To paraphrase a popular Christian song by Casting Crowns, I live praising God through the storms.

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